Gender revealed

When people find out I’m pregnant, the first thing they ask is if I know if I am having a boy or a girl. And if I want to know. And if I have a preference. And if. And if.

The answer is that we found out today because life and pregnancy are full of unknowns, and I like having at least one known. My preference is healthy, which this kiddo is. Currently, the little one is the size of a Coke can, which is my new favorite analogy for 19 weeks. It amazes me that technology let me see four chambers of a heart, a femur, a nose, a brain and other unidentifiable to me blurs. For some precious moments I saw my child, the one I am starting to feel more frequently, and heard a heart while watching it beat.

It was magic, and it was nice to see you today, Louise.

One moment later

Lately, I find myself thinking about the moment when everything changes. There are those gradual buildups that you can look back on and see a slow evolution to a new reality. Things like your kid learning to talk. Odd noises lead to persistent babble become repeated monosyllables turn to words.

But those aren’t the times I have been dwelling on. I keep coming back to the few instances in my life when there was a distinct “before” and “after.” The times when my life after that moment were a complete departure from what came previously.

There was the time I went to a college orientation meeting and sat down next to a stranger. Prior to that day I was a single young adult. After I sat down, the new guy and I talked and spent the rest of the day starting a friendship. A week later we started dating; five years passed and we got married. There is a sharp distinction for me of my life before Greg and my life after I met him. In that one moment, in that decision to be uncharacteristically bold, my directionality altered.

Then there was the day my son was born. There is a clear instant that rises up through the haze of labor and delivery. There was a moment when I got to hold my baby and wish him a happy birthday. Before that day we were two people with a dog who could make and change plans at the drop of a hat. After he took a breath, we became a family of three, and my life became fuller in a way I did not expect.

A few weeks ago I took a test that changed things again. Before we were three, now, we’re a family of four.